The group of poets stumbled into the bar after the poetry reading, thirsty for drinks, since reading aloud makes a poet want alcohol. Beer is preferable, or sometimes whiskey, or wine, if one believes they have class.
The noisy bar irritated the group, because they wanted to debate the finer points of Plath and Poe, they decided to take up space on the patio, and ordered from the bar, so they would not have to wait. They went in twos, and carried their drinks outside to avoid the sports brawl inside.
“What do you think of the state of the world today?” they asked each other.
They all groaned.
The poets were losing money, nobody wanted to spend on poetry anymore, grants were not given, none had won any awards, and they barely had enough money for drinks, but drink they needed, because it was a poet’s duty to drown away problems with Pumpkin Spice beer or Guinness or Miller Lite.
Stephanie, a funny poet, noticed a small white spider on the table.
“Is that spider trying to drink the sugar off the glass of my pumpkin spice beer?” she asked to nobody in particular.
The tiny spider crawled up her beer.
“Don’t kill it,” Miguel said. “It’s a life, and it should be honored.”
“But I don’t want it in my beer,” she said.
“Brush it off,” he said.
Stephanie swiped it with her hand.
“What has everything come to when spiders are trying to steal our beer?”
“it’s a tragic day, indeed,” he said.
Stephanie sipped her beer, and held her glass, so the spider would not crawl inside.
“Everyone wants to drown their sorrow, even the spiders,” Miguel said. “That’s the state of the world today.”
The poets commiserated, and talked about how the leaders were like spiders, trying to steal all the best things they had.
The group agreed to meet the next month in the bar after the poetry reading, when it would be deeper into the fall, and the leaves would be almost gone from the trees.
At the end of October, after the poetry reading, Stephanie went to the bar to order pumpkin spice beer, and the bartender said, “We don’t have any more pumpkin spice.”
“Why not, is the season over already?”
“We didn’t run out, the spiders drank the beer,” he said. “Somehow, they got a taste of it on a glass covered in sugar, and they came into the bar, and went into the taps, and drank all of it, every drop gone.”
“But was it my fault?” Stephanie moaned. “I tried to keep the spider away from my beer.”
“You might have tried, but once they get a taste of something delicious, they want more and more and more until every last drop has been drunk, to be sure, those spiders are thirsty, especially for pumpkin spice.”
“But what else do you have that’s like pumpkin spice?”
“We have Octoberfest and Guinness, but if you crave pumpkin, I can make you a pumpkin spice martini.”
“I don’t want a martini; I’ll have the Octoberfest. But it’s a nightmare! It’s October, and it’s still pumpkin season! Those freakin’ spiders! Why do they have to be so evil?”
“It’s the nature of spiders to be evil,” the bartender said. “You should never give them anything good because they’ll devour it until it’s gone. They’re usually patient, spinning their webs, waiting for their prey, but not when it comes to pumpkin spice. It’s the sugar in the beer that fuels their desire.”
“This is a Halloween tale to end them all,” Stephanie said. “The pumpkin spice spider.”
She took her Octoberfest, and went back to her seat to join the other poets. They talked about the spiders taking over the world, and the death of poetry and beauty and imagination and all the things in life that make it wonderful, except beer, because poets need something to ease their pain, and something to look forward to at the end of the day.


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