again By Chris Dean

I'm drinking. Again.

(Ok, not like it's a rare thing.) 

I'm drinking

and I'm drunk

on alligator tears,

mumbling about nothing

that has everything to do 

with something,

but I can't put a finger on it 

through the dark, bourbon haze.

And that was the point, right?

To drink 

until the fucking voices

speak in broken slurs

and pass out before me?

To forget them

in the moments

I surrender to oblivion,

with fuzzy outlines

and aching head

to remind me when I wake.

But the booze

rusts the hinges 

on the barn doors

of the past

and the horses

are running wild,

stampeding through my now.

I wish the liquor 

could be loaded

in a 12 Gauge 

made for memories…

I'd take aim,

down another shot,

and obliterate

every piece of me.

Chris Dean is a storyteller, spoken word artist and self-proclaimed Magpie Poet who writes from the heart of Indiana where they live with their husband, dog and too many cats to mention. 

Along with Wendy Cartwright, Chris is co-founder of Keeping the Flame Alive Press. 

Their work has been featured online, in multiple print anthologies and they are the author of two books of poetry, Tales From a Broken Girl and We're All Stories in the End, published by Storeylines Press.