your goddamned cheap beer By Ben Newell

I’m at the self-checkout machine

hoisting a six-pack of tallboys into my cart

when a defective can bursts.

Natural Light sprays the floor, 

sprays my leg,

even sprays the woman at the next machine—

“Just great,” she says with much disdain.

“Now I smell like 

your goddamned cheap beer.”

A major improvement, 

I want to tell her.

But it’s early.

And I haven’t started 

drinking yet.

Ben Newell recently turned 50. He dropped out of the Bennington Writing Seminars during his first semester, eventually resuming his studies at Spalding University where he earned an MFA. He taught high school English for one day.