Denial By Jenna Restel

I can't dream anymore-

there's a face I cannot make out

or that I don't want to

I have another coffee 

at 9pm, and he asks what I'm doing

but this pain is mine

so I can't explain

I'm left alone 

again

the way I like to be

Laid out on the couch

background noise

a game on my phone

distracted

But I hear a word

I smell a reminder

I brew another cup

Now I'm wide awake

I see without question

So I take melatonin

and something PM

I pop open a beer

I need to sleep

because now it's too clear

In my dream it's distorted

and I can pretend 

that I don't recognize it

But no matter where

or who I'm with

My heart says

Liar

Jenna Restel is a New Jersey based writer. She explores grief, memory, trauma and bad habits. You may find her published poetry in Keeping the Flame Alive, Bionik Pu$$y, Rust Belt Press, Crying Heart Press, and more.