CONSUMER SURVEY by MICHAEL MINASSIAN

No, I’ve never cleaned my toilet
wearing yellow gloves
or eaten yellow cakes
of radioactive waste.

When prompted to click
on a link, I pretend
it’s my birthday
and clap my hands.

I only clip coupons
when they promise more
than they can deliver.

In the past week, month, year,
I’ve never refused to eat anything
or purchased your product.

On a scale of one to ten,
I rate you 30 below.

I will willingly return to your store/
restaurant/website during the next
Mayan calendar cycle.

I will share this prophecy
with everyone, both living and dead.

Please enter me in your sweepstakes.

I waive all my rights.

MICHAEL MINASSIAN is a Contributing Editor for Verse-Virtual. His short stories and poems have appeared in such journals as Comstock Review, Evening Street Review, Main Street Rag and Poet Lore. His chapbooks include poetry: The Arboriculturist (2010); Chuncheon Journal (2019); and photography: Around the Bend (2017). His poetry collection Time is Not a River was released in 2020.