I like your sign over there.
Yeah, it’s new. It’s only been in that spot for ten years.
“Keep your trap shut! No politics! No religion! No filthy language!” What kinda dump is this?
The kind you frequent every day.
That reminds me. Did you see what happened to that squirrelly guy on the news?
What? What squirrelly guy?
You know, that squirrelly guy who used to wear a bow tie all the time and pretend he was one of the big boys.
Oh, the guy who never met a conspiracy theory he didn’t like? Like about the ruling class of secretive reptiles that are controlling the world.
That’s him. The guy who looks like he was bullied every day in school.
What about him?
Well, did you hear what his lawyer said?
What?
She said the decision to kick him off the network was the most catastrophic event in television history.
No way.
Yeah.
What about the space shuttle Challenger disaster?
Or the Munich Massacre at the 1972 Olympics?
Or when NBC canceled Baywatch after only one season?
Or Keeping Up with the Kardashians?
So, what do you think? It looks like you’ve got an opinion as usual.
Well, I tell you what that kinda lawyerly talk reminds me of.
What’s that?
Those big wind-twisted Ponderosa pines they got out in Utah.
How’s that?
I mean, those kinda lawyers grab hold of the facts and bend them and twist them like they’re trying to screw the head off a chicken.
That’s her job, isn’t it?
That’s what I’m saying. Plus, the fact that she doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about.
What do you mean?
I mean, she has no knowledge of broadcasting history.
Really?
For me, an event that was far worse happened in 1955 when Pinky Lee, a little guy who just wanted to make people happy, collapsed on camera during a live TV show and because his whole shtick was his slapstick antics and comic dancing and rapid-fire jokes, the cameraman and the director thought his fall was an ad lib and part of his act and no one helped him while the “Peanut Gallery” of kids was encouraged to keep cheering and applauding.
So?
He coulda died right there, while the world laughed, which was really what his life was all about anyway, I guess.
I see. I get your point.
There are worse things than losing your so-called news platform that makes everyone miserable.
Yeah.
Add that to your sign.
Okay.
You know, your sign needs more positives and fewer negatives.
Like…
Like: “Be kind. Bring joy. Leave ‘em laughing. Help carry the load.” for God’s sake.
Terry Allen was born in Brisbane, Australia, grew up in Kanas City and is an emeritus professor of Theatre Arts at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, where he taught acting, directing and playwriting. He is the author of four poetry collections: Monsters in the Rain, Art Work, Waiting on the Last Train, and Rubber Time. His poems have appeared in many journals, including I-70 Review, Third Wednesday, and Popshot Quarterly. In addition, his work has been nominated for an Eric Hoffer Book Award, a Best of the Net Award, and a Pushcart Prize. His books are available at Amazon, Kelsay Books, and locally at Skylark Bookshop in Columbia, Missouri.