Sunday, March 29, 2020

After that first lonely night. By Tony Pena


She’s gone and I can’t tell
if I’m shallow or deep ,
with the only sure thing
being I can’t swim
for shit and I’m drowning.
A cramp under rib pulling
muscle like silly putty.
The water in my lungs
rising so fast I had
to go to a specialist
to address the telltale
signs of a broken heart.

My sorry ass dragged
over to see a doctor
of love with so many
initials after his name,
his card like a spoonful
of alphabet soup. First,
he cupped my balls
for an uncomfortable
period of time asking
for cough after cough
as jewels jostled about
in Captain Queeg’s fingers.

Trying hard to think
of anything else waiting
for the stethoscope,
the many songs sung
about the maudlin subject
came to mind with me
wondering if the beat
of a busted heart would
still  swoosh swoosh or
rather bumble like a bass
drum duct taped after
a battle of the bands.

But the white coat puts
the cold instrument
on my ear and I thought,
what a fucking quack,
looking for the Cracker
Jack seal on the diplomas
hanging crooked on nail
popped , grey, and soulless
walls figuring the payoff
once I sue the mansions,
yachts, and BMWs out
of this joker for malpractice.

But it turns out that vacant
weedy real estate between
the ghosts of Van Gogh
ears is where this particular
ache was located,
angry and infected
yet stone cold silent,
kind of like that riddle
about the sound a tree
makes falling in the forest,
waking up the dead who
don’t make any noise either .

A tune of forgotten tongue,
cold on slab and tone
deaf with no words ,
no music, no nothing,
making for a mute
corpse as opposed
to a garrulous ghost.
Brutal the burden
when the heart
has gone the way
of bones buried
six feet deep.



Tony Pena was selected as 2017-2018 Poet Laureate for the city of Beacon, New York.  
A new volume of poetry and flash fiction, "Blood and Beats and Rock n Roll," is available now at Amazon.  He also has a self published chapbook, "Opening night in Gehenna."  His publication credits include “Chronogram,”  "Dogzplot,"   "Gutter Eloquence," “Hudson Valley Transmitter,” "Red Fez," "Slipstream,"  "Underground Voices," "Zygote in my Coffee,"  and others. 

Colorful compositions and caterwauling with a couple of chords can be seen at:



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