if you leave San Antonio around 4 a.m.
you might make that Mad-Max run up to
Austin with almost no traffic, maybe a semi
or two, but that’s it, and I eased from one
lane to the next in a state of anxious luxury,
looking forward to and worried about another
trek up through Waco, Dallas, Little Rock,
Memphis, Nashville, the Smokies, then the
choice of Virginia flatlands or West Virginia
switchbacks, and it doesn’t matter which
because by then you’re a zombie to the road,
the fever dreams, the white pills that keep you
running headlong, the picnic tables at rest stops
that become your funeral slabs for 30 minute naps
in the open air, then back to the highway dreams
but that morning, close to 4:30 a.m. just
outside of San Antonio, I had the road alone,
the radio tuned to some no-name station
that started to play Robert Earl Keen,
“The Road That Never Ends,” and as it
flowed through speakers in the far edge of
night I felt the wheels of the car begin to lift
right off the blacktop, the tale of Sonny and
and Sherry, Main Street after midnight, a beer
between her legs as she’s off to meet some
friends, how the party never ends…
as the horizon became a cobalt blue zipper
ready to peel open another bright sky highway
that song carried me past the anxieties that had
built and strangled and followed me all the way
from my father’s front steps, carried me beyond
my fears of making another mistake, leaving one
home behind to re-start my life back at my other,
both ways home feeling more like emergency
parachutes than anything, but ol’ Robert Earl Keene
kept singing and I kept driving, and you know what?
he’s right, the road goes on forever, even when you
wish it wouldn’t, even after you take that last exit,
be it another big mistake or the best decision you
ever made, when you’re nothing but highway dust,
that party will still be out there beyond the horizon
at 5:05 a.m., threatening another bright blue day
without your bones walking around to greet it
there’s a little comfort in that, I think,
but only if you turn the radio up and
keep moving forward with all the speed
and hope and wild grace you can muster
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