Rules For Working in A Bar by Clay Hunt

To Justin Frahm, thanks for the first and the eleventh, and to my wife Laura Adkins for the tenth.

1.Keep your eyes on the ground. You’ll always find money. 

2. While eyes are on the ground, look for glass that could cut someone. They came to escape their problems, not open new ones. 

3. When you decide to look up, don’t get lost in the frenzy. Those smiling faces are only smiling ‘cuz they’re together. 

4. If someone doesn’t tip, tip-shame them. Every time. 

5. Appreciate a good D.J. A gun sounds good sometimes, but music mostly always does. 

6. Don’t drink. Don’t drink. Don’t drink. Or Drink.

7. Doing Cocaine is paying for anxiety. 

8. You can see the past and the future in the bars. Try and stand outside of time to put that in perspective. 

9. Stay Hydrated. Water is life and life will slip away. Don’t make it easy. 

10. Be a ninja and throw ice at assholes. Then wash a dish or something. They’ll never know.

11. Spend time with your new friends after closing the bar. Y’all survived a battle together. It’s time to celebrate. 

12. Remember to polish your golden handcuffs

Clay Hunt is the author of three chapbooks, the most recent being “Sewn-on Patch” from Between Shadows Press. His work has appeared in The Raw Art Review, Beyond Words Literary Magazine, Paper and Ink Zine, and others. He holds a bachelor’s degree in English from UC Berkeley. He lives in San Francisco.