Don't breathe,
Hold it in
Stay silent,
Don't open your mouth
Because if I speak
If I breathe
Then I risk
Falling to pieces
In this sea of
Strange faces
You see, I'm
Barely holding it together
And I'm afraid
The simple act
Of breathing
Will lead to me
Needing
A new kind of help
I don't want to talk about
The mental strain
The way my brain
Is constantly on fire
And I almost wish
People would stop
Asking how I am
The question,
Less a question
And more an obligation
They don't want honesty
Just a generic answer
It's like a game of Russian roulette
And I'm the asshole they pray
They won't get
Because I'm a little too honest
Don't breathe,
Hold it in
Don't know when
I'll be okay again
But sometimes
I wonder
If I'm really the asshole,
Or the loaded gun
Either way,
They don't want my answer.
Walden Quinn Caesar is a nonbinary poet, novelist and author living in Southeast Indiana with their family. They have had a chapbook, novel and hybrid novel published by Alien Buddha Press, have a full length poetry collection due in November and just published a chapbook with Jude Miller. They've been published in numerous online and printed anthologies, and are the creator, editor and reviewer at Walden's Poetry & Reviews.
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