Sunday, April 12, 2026

Big man By Ron Riekki


I was bartending

at a golf club,

which is like cooking

at a laundromat,

and the customers

weren’t there for alcohol

and they weren’t there

for golf

either,

but were there

to get away

from jobs

that were as boring

as middle school

study hall

and they’d walk in

with their neat-shirted

bodies

that hadn’t seen running shoes


in years

but they could ride

a cart

and have someone else

carry their clubs

with such grace,

such agility,

where they rarely

crashed the carts

or dropped the clubs

they weren’t carrying,

and one day

one of the guys

came in

and he told me he was a millionaire

and told me he just bought

a 3-D TV,

that it made the 3-D better

than film,


that films

made 3-D look like shit

and he said the TV

was the size of an outhouse

or something like that

and he said that

he was the first person he knew

to ever buy one,

pointing around the room

saying

I guarantee none of these schmucks

can go home tonight

and watch House of Wax

like you’ve never seen House of Wax

in your life

and I said something that I forget,

and he sipped a couple drinks

and walked away,

out into the Vincent-Price dusk


and I looked at his bill

and his money

and the professor

or whatever he was

stiffed me on the tip.

Gave me nothing.

Not a penny.

Just enough for the drinks

and that’s it.

And I wanted to punch him

right in his Blu-ray

and I wanted to shatter his

3-D glasses,

but he was gone,

probably watching the crappy 2005 version

with Paris Hilton

failing at acting

in such vivid

detail.





Ron Riekki has been awarded a 2016 Shenandoah Fiction Prize, 2016 IPPY Award, 2019 Red Rock Film Fest Award, 2019 Best of the Net finalist, 2019 Très Court International Film Festival Audience Award and Grand Prix, 2020 Dracula Film Festival Vladutz Trophy, 2020 Rhysling Anthology inclusion, and 2022 Pushcart Prize.  Right now, Riekki's listening to Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross' "Technically, Missing" from the Gone Girl film score.


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Big man By Ron Riekki

I was bartending at a golf club, which is like cooking at a laundromat, and the customers weren’t there for alcohol and they weren’t there f...