Bartender’s Guide. by Jonathan K. Rice

The year I got married I bought

the Deluxe Official Bartender’s Guide.

I remember its bright red cover

the image of Old Mr. Boston,

his sideburns, top hat

and smug countenance.

I thought about cocktails

referenced in movies,

Bond’s dry martini shaken not stirred,

Jackie Gleason as bartender,

the dives my buddies and I frequented,

like the Taboo Lounge, Big Daddy’s,

the Bachelor’s Three, a nameless piano bar

in Pompano Beach.

I discovered brandy and top shelf tequila

at high end bars. Bartenders would mix

and pour whatever was in their reach.

I tried all their different potions.

My friends and I, elbows on the bar,

would nod at one another,

eyeing sleek women in low cut dresses,

snug on their shapely curves, or short skirts,

their tanned smooth legs extended

from their perch on barstools,

high heels sometimes dangling through the laughter.

They came and left with other men.

We thought we were cool, but we hadn’t lived

enough to really impress anyone,

let alone the seemingly sophisticated women

at what we thought were the classy bars.  

If I could just find that bartender’s guide,

I’d run to the liquor store

for some crème de menthe

and Five Star Brandy,

make myself a stinger cocktail

and call an old friend.

I suppose I bought it

to recapture those days

before adulthood set in,

a misspent time before marriage

and kids, before the six-pack

in the fridge became my go to

instead of a stool at a local bar.

I could have kept my drinking simple,

but then I wouldn’t have this book

filled with recipes for all these drinks I never make.

    

Jonathan K. Rice edited Iodine Poetry Journal for seventeen years. He is the author of two full-length poetry collections, Killing Time (2015), Ukulele and Other Poems (2006) and a chapbook, Shooting Pool with a Cellist (2003), all published by Main Street Rag Publishing. He is also a visual artist. His poetry and art have appeared in numerous publications, including Cold Mountain Review, Comstock Review, Diaphanous, Empty Mirror, Gargoyle, Inflectionist Review,     Levure Litteraire, The Main Street Rag, Wild Goose Poetry Review and the anthologies, Hand in Hand: Poets Respond to Race and The Southern Poetry Anthology VII: North Carolina.