With time to kill before
the Marx Brothers film
festival at a new revival
house in the city, I came
across a tired tavern .
A grand old bar it wasn’t.
Zero curb appeal
with a New York
license plate hanging
cockeyed on a thick
green door reading,
“Cheap beer.”
I sat on a wobbly
stool and asked
the elderly barkeep
for a cheap and deep.
He plucked a roach from
the tap and asked, “ya sure?”
I gagged and asked
what he had in bottles.
He pulled some Bohemian
Bock from a dorm fridge
and said, “twenty bucks.”
I was about to go deep
into a deceptive advertising
rant but his cold eyed stare
stopped me in my tracks.
I pulled out a twenty figuring
I’d ass yelp this geriatric swindler
later but adding insult to injury,
the beer was too damn
warm and when this bearded
biker the size of a sumo wrestler
sauntered in and put Manilow
on the jukebox I decided to cut
my losses and take a piss
before heading out for laughs.
I spied a medieval looking door
with black iron trim and cartoon
placard of Hagar the Horrible .
Inside there was a single stall,
no door and a toilet covered
in what looked like wet mulch.
Thankfully no need
for a deuce and in a step
or two I stood before
the largest urinal my eyes
ever bore witness to.
A porcelain palace no one
would ever believe so I took
five cool selfies inside the urinal.
My foot got stuck in the drain
as the door creaked open.
The big biker stepped in dropping
drawers and singing, “Copacabana.”
He glared and lifted me up by
my shirt and growled, “this is my
fucking home , you little shit.”
The reel of my life fading to black
Tony Pena was selected as 2017-2018 Poet Laureate for the city of Beacon, New York.
A new volume of poetry and flash fiction, "Blood and Beats and Rock n Roll," is available now at Amazon. He also has a self published chapbook, "Opening night in Gehenna." His publication credits include “Chronogram,” "Dogzplot," "Gutter Eloquence," “Hudson Valley Transmitter,” "Red Fez," "Slipstream," "Underground Voices," "Zygote in my Coffee," and others.
Colorful compositions and caterwauling with a couple of chords can be seen at:
as his fist crashed against my head.
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Good one, Mr. Pena...I have experienced many bizarre and rough nights at the local watering hole.
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