Fumbling, Searching by Brendan Smith

Shall we try to draw blood from the obsidian night
Full of stars wishing they were the sun
And I too hoped that I might
Live life before the day was done
But when our star cannot see our acts
like a parent that leaves you be
that is when you'll see the fact
of human life when it is free

Like Sisyphus until we atone
burdening ourselves because of unconditional gifts
But amid darkness, when we are alone
Modest veils, hiding shamed beauty lift
So we go out in the night, with our worse sides
Blackness blending with dark, showing only our light
And while among blessings our beauty hides
No longer feeling unworthy, we let ourselves be bright

When we look in the abyss and the abyss looks back
I'm happy to be seen
When the night is pitch and we are equal in the black
I no longer feel jealous of their happy scenes
There is silence in darkness as though light brings sound
And in darkness and silence you can fumble and fall
With no one to judge you as you try to be found
And to see which of yourselves you are after all

And the halo that forms on the earth during sunrise
Remind us we are undeserving of bounty and grace
And we return to lives we despise, never to surmise
Who we are beyond a voice and face
And we sleep through the day since we don't have the right
As the guilt for breathing weighs down our wings
Until the majestic halo is placed on the night
And after we venture where our smiles can sing

Brendan Smith is a writer from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. He is currently attending Albright College.