MAKER’S MARK by J. Archer Avary

there I was
by myself in the
empty auditorium
minding my own
business
when I noticed 
an unattended 
booze cart 

I looked around
saw no cameras
so I reached over
and snatched myself
a big bottle of
Maker’s Mark
and nonchalantly
made my exit
but as it happens 
the joke was on me:
the entire bottle
spilled out
as I drove home
in my Saab 900
soaking the cloth
seats with whiskey

the Saab smelled
like a distillery
for several weeks
a cop pulled me
over one night
thought I must
be drunk and ran
a sobriety test

I touched my nose
with a fingertips
recited the alphabet
backwards
blew into the
breathalyser
and after that hoopla
the cop let me go

J. Archer Avary is a former television journalist, marine conservationist, and champion lionfish hunter. His work has appeared in Bright Flash Literary Review and Guernsey Poets. He was born in Albuquerque, NM and lived in several US cities including Omaha (NE), Milwaukee (WI), Asheville (NC) and Atlanta (GA) before moving to Grand Cayman in 2014. He currently resides in Guernsey with his wife where he is a furloughed aviation worker.