Friday, August 17, 2018

Whiskey Spills, Bad Lovers, and Celebrity Deaths Come In Threes. by Thomas L. Vaultonburg



"You know Johnny fucked
Farrah Fawcett when she
Was still on Charlie's' Angels,"
Says celebrity sidekick Ed
McMahon from behind a Scotch
Too cheap for an ex Marine
To a second rate bartender/actor
Paying too little attention.
"And he always said that Michael
Jackson was a fucking child molester,"
Says McMahon, pretending not to notice
The celebrity tabloid show
Flickering in the corner.
As late night sidekick Ed McMahon's
Shaky hand spills a third trickle
Of rot gut onto the bar he knows
Back home his trophy wife
And the three Pekingese are already
Staring at the couch like
They're seeing a ghost.
Ex Marine Ed McMahon beckons
The two-bit bartender closer
And offers: "I can only tell you
One thing kid: Whiskey spills,
Bad lovers, and celebrity
Deaths come in threes."




Thomas L. Vaultonburg is a Cub fan who thinks Devo is the greatest band of all time. He is also the editor of Zombie Logic Review. 

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