Drinking Clan MacGregor For Inspiration by Chocolate Waters

Swallow down a big gulp of the stuff,
stare at computer screen.
Gulp a bigger hit.
Stare at screen.
I'm hungry.
Cook up Mrs. Stouffer's
frozen Tuna Noodle Casserole.
Swig more scotch.
Stare at screen.
More scotch.
Stare intensely at screen.
Retrieve casserole from oven.
Trip over chair.
Casserole flies off plate.
Splatters best rug.
I leave it there.
Add three ice cubes to scotch.
Return to staring down screen.
Write a few words.
Still starving.
Dig out Pepperidge Farm Frozen Apple Turnovers.
Blast oven to 450 degrees.
Pass out.
Three hours later.
Turnovers are charred black triangles.
Apartment is burning down.
Through smoke I make out words
I've written on screen.
They say:
"Don't forget to turn off the blasted turnovers."


First published in Perihelion, 1999

Chocolate Waters loves to drink and write in bars. She’s produced four poetry collections this way and currently has a new collection, Bittersweet Resurrection (Eggplant Press, NY, NY) coming out in 2019. “Write drunk, edit sober,” said Hemmingway – and she does. She’s lived in Manhattan for nearly 40 years. Sorry, no cats.