I Collect Fine Wines & Near Death Experiences by JPR

To amuse my friends and frustrate my enemies alike.

I have approached the precipice yet never stepped over that edge.

Blood can be replenished, wounds sewn shut.

The memories linger like my perpetual bad habits.

It marvels some, as it frustrates those closest to me.

The edge is so familiar; I wouldn't know how to exist if I didn't have a near-death experience to reflect upon.

As upon the release of several of my books, I've endured a tornado, a house fire, and a mild stroke which wasn't all that bad.

Sipped amongst some glasses of red wine as others tend to keep their distance as the storm clouds stir overhead, for I haven't been struck down by lighting yet to which I grab their hands.

For I've always enjoyed sharing a good buzz and a devilish laugh.

For my most dangerous vice has always been my love of fine whiskey and ever so wild women.

A broken neck stings a tad bit, as equally does a broken heart.

Those emotional scars are far less easy to share, but a bullet wounds kind of badass to start off the conversation upon our first date amongst a sea of knife scars.

But I have some flesh-bound canvas left in case you are looking to add to my collection.

If you believe you can be my death nail to accomplish what the finest could not do, sweetheart, be my guest.

Nine lives don't apply to the devil's favorite demon in training.

But one day,  even the best must bite that proverbial dust.

The moment I stop, I will most likely drop dead where I stand, and the bets are up as to how and when.

But it damn sure isn't tonight  so don't hold your breath because blue doesn't suit you my darling.

And I have far better ideas of how we can entertain this night's witching hours.

I never said I was here for a long time, but I am damn sure here for a good time.

JPR was killed by the illuminati and replaced by a cyborg who oddly enough equally hates everyone the same.

He will be missed by all five of his imaginary friends his body is in a dumpster behind the Old Country Buffet in Virginia Beach Virginia.

He once was happy until he realized he was too tall to be that dwarf.

He was published most recently in the yellow pages this was a life long dream.

#rockinthatshit