The only testimony of my existence will be a cigarette burn on a fringed leather jacket that you will wear. Then there will be a stack of poetry books, which will eventually be lost and scattered. Then you, yes, you, have witnessed my death. This is a fact of life you will carry with you. You will love a woman who doesn't love you back, and you will love a man who is far too cruel for your gentle soul. These, too, are facts that must be held dear. You will meet the man—the cruel one. He will wear boots, donned in fringed leather. An embodiment of the 1970s, when a cigarette dangles out of his mouth. You, yes, you will be caught— not him, but you. When this man leaves you desolate, you, yes, you will meet a woman. Yes, the one who will never love you, she will have the eyes of a cat. And she will be your summer, for you know no better. She will caress you and introduce you to poetry. She will have you entranced, mold you into someone else. You, yes, you have learned nothing, for she will leave you just as desolate as before. So you drink cough syrup, yet still you lie awake, staring out your window. And, when you lift your head, your body will be bathed in the dawn of a day that never came. Still, though, you are desolate. Still you, you don't fit through the window, no matter how hard you push. So instead, you’ll drown in old poets and the greats. Smoke cigarettes, dress up to erase the childish parts of you that she loved and he exploited. You, little by little, will become a new man. Still you, just no longer a boy. Still desolate, her memory will never leave you, just as the boots on your ribcage and cigarette burns. You, you forgot the fact you must remember. The memories, the boots, the burns, and the desolation will leave you, yes, you, but only in death. Once again, you lay by the window; this time, you stay awake to watch the celestials play tag. You realize what a fool you’ve been. You remembered my stories. Yes, me, I forgot these facts, now I'm a man, and you're no longer you.
Sergey Bielecki is an LGBTQ+ writer born in Russia, with one book already published, and is being recognized by poets like Yona Harvey and John Hennessy. He has put his resources into creating a writing club at UMass Amherst, where he serves as chief editor. His other efforts are being put towards his magazine Polymenia for up-and-coming writers, where he will serve as one of three editors
