because he looked like that guy from Cheers
but that was before he got a giant scar
across his whole face
from flipping a car
at over 100 miles per hour
somewhere in Maryland
but that was after he got expelled
though he still came up most weekends
to perform his famous frat party trick
of drinking until his heart stopped
when the LifeFlight copters would come
on Saturday night we always shrugged
Oh, that's just Norm
lately I've been asking around
he was a nice enough guy
but no one remembers his real name
so we'll always have to wonder
about the slim possibility
that he lived
Matthew Ussia is director of Duquesne University’s First Year Writing Program in spite of the fact that he got a C- in freshman writing and was rejected from Duquesne’s MA program. He is also an editor, podcaster, post-doom thereminist, softcore punk, postpunk backup singer, social media burnout, and sentient organic matter. His second book, Saturday Night on Earth, was published by Alien Buddha Press in 2025. His first book, The Red Glass Cat, was published by Alien Buddha Press in 2021. His writings have appeared in Mister Rogers and Philosophy, Future Humans in Fiction and Film, North of Oxford, MadSwirl, Trailer Park Quarterly, Anti-Heroin Chic, and Pittsburgh Quarterly among others. More information can be found at www.matthewussia.com.
