Wednesday, March 27, 2019

TENTATIVE PLATFORM FOR THE PRESIDENCY OF KEITH RICHARDS by Daniel W. Wright

1 - The official slogan for my campaign shall be "I’ve Upped My Standards. Now, Up Yours".

2 - Re-instating the right to smoke in bars any time the weather is below 45 degrees.

3 - A Beatle must be left open to the same level of legal and judicial scrutiny as a Rolling Stone.

4 - Moving Black History Month to a month with at least 30 days and some decent weather.

4A - Instituting a Woman’s History Month, also in a month with at least thirty days and some decent weather.

5 - Free health care for all, no strings attached. For every month this is not instituted during my presidency, a cut in the defense budget shall be made.

6 - No law concerning drug enforcement shall be voted on by those who have financial interests in pharmaceutical companies.

7 - The birthdays of Ron Wood and Bobby Keys shall be considered national holidays.

8 - The Queen, as lovely as she may be, can kiss my majestic Satanic arse.

9 - Instead of being treated as criminals, heroin addicts should be treated by health care officials in an environment where they can have a real chance to get better.

10 - Cracking down on the music companies and online streaming services who keep the money for themselves and instead make sure the artists get a fair deal.

11 - At least once during the first term, Mick Jagger must publicly lick my under carriage in an act of humility.

12 - The new poet laureate of America shall be Tom Waits.

13 - For every child shot in a school shooting, a member of the legislative branch shall be shot as well. Nothing serious, but enough give them an idea to actually do something.

14 - Putting money into public education in order to create a well-informed electorate.

15 - Instituting a Green New Deal and dedicating time and money to finding alternative solutions to greener options to cutting down carbon emissions, including government paid job training for greener options for those who work in the energy industry.

16 - Finally, it will be the opinion of this administration that if you don’t know the blues, you shouldn't pick up a guitar.







A poet of the no collar work force, Daniel W. Wright is a mid-western son who loves and loathes the red brick town that surrounds him. A longtime writer of wild nights and whiskey tributes, Wright speaks for the lover in every loner. He is currently the author of five chapbooks of poetry, the most recent being The Death of the Ladies Man with Bad Jacket Press. His work has appeared in the Gasconade Review as well as underground zines Bad Jacket and Crappy Hour.


No comments:

Post a Comment

A Suburb of Myself By Dan Provost

  I failed the beer philosophy of hidden pain, tried to twist tears with artistic motivation--- Exchanged drinking rights for lawnmower cho...